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The Mindful Parent: Strategies from Peaceful Cultures to Raise Compassionate, Competent Kids, by Charlotte Peterson
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Over the last four decades, American hospitals have seen a steady increase in children suffering from psychological disorders, peer violence, and suicide attempts. To figure out why this is happening and how to put an end to it, child psychologist Dr. Charlotte Peterson has been spending six months every five years living in indigenous villages and observing their parenting practices. What she's found is that the people of peaceful cultures, particularly the Tibetan, Bhutanese, and Balinese people, know something we Westerners, despite our modernity, don't, and their children are happier, healthier, and more balanced because of it.
What Dr. Peterson has found is that the children in these cultures are raised with a high degree of cherishing and empathy. Attachments are promoted by intensive nurturing of infants and gentle, clear limit-setting with toddlers that teaches self-control and builds self-esteem. The result, as Dr. Peterson has found after visiting these places again and again, is children who are trusting, enjoyable, and kind, —not “spoiled,” as we might imagine.
The Mindful Parent brings together Dr. Peterson's village interviews, observations, research, and over thirty-five years of work as a psychologist to teach modern parents how to raise healthier, more well-balanced, and kinder children. It includes creative ideas from parents who are currently adopting these practices and balancing other aspects of their personal, career, and financial responsibilities to assure their children get the support they need to thrive.
- Sales Rank: #483574 in Books
- Published on: 2015-11-17
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.10" h x 1.30" w x 6.20" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 288 pages
About the Author
No Bio
Most helpful customer reviews
24 of 24 people found the following review helpful.
Good book but mixed feelings
By Penny Thoughtful
This is the type of book I would have been all over like white on rice before I had kids. "THIS is how I'm going to raise my kids!" I would have said. "THIS is how to fix the world and make a better future!" I would have said. But now, I shake my head and say, "Yeah right, this is how you raise your kids on Planet Perfect maybe!" And I try to think, How many parents have loving parents or other close relatives of their own who are not only willing and able to travel or move hundreds or thousands of miles in order to keep Baby out of daycare, but are able to live and work harmoniously with those relatives? How many mothers have jobs flexible enough to stay home or just work part-time for three years? How many fathers have jobs that pay well enough for this to be an option, NO MATTER HOW MUCH THEY SIMPLIFY their lifestyles? How many mothers can manage to breastfeed at all, never mind for up to five years? Not many. So what purpose does this book accomplish other than making most mothers hate themselves?
BUT THEN I realize that I, myself, actually did raise both of my children more or less the way Peterson recommends. I mean I was probably within 90% compliance of everything she says to do. If she talked to me, she would probably be really pleased with my parenting and would probably say, "Good job--your children aren't the ones I'm worried about." The WORST thing I probably did was leave my younger child in group daycare for about 25 hours a week starting when she was 7 months old, but that was with teachers who absolutely ADORED her and were totally tuned into her health and well-being. I don't really think the Future Of Human Civilization Police are going to come knocking on my door for that.
So--I don't know. Part of me think this book is glorifying "primitive" cultures in an unrealistic and unhelpful way, and part of me thinks Peterson is actually on to something and is probably pretty much correct in most of her assertions, even the ones that are impossible for most modern American parents to implement, even the ones that *I* managed to implement because I lucked into an above-average family support structure situation. I'm giving this book four stars to balance my misgivings with the quality of the research and writing. I'd be happy to discuss my thoughts further if anyone wants to discuss them in a rational, peaceful way.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Invaluable parenting lessons from around the world
By Jacob Madden
As a man wanting to one day be a father, I found the experiences and lessons shared in The Mindful Parent invaluable. I too have traveled quite a bit in an effort to understand various ways of living and creating families. While my unprofessional observations were not near as detailed as Dr. Peterson's, I definitely agree with her that there are golden nuggets in the peaceful cultures and it was wonderful to read the conclusions and thoughts of someone who has dedicated her life to treating patients and helping them overcome difficulties related to early childhood experiences. The book reinforced in me the special importance of a child's early life in a way that sounds possible for me to carry out when I have children.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
What a gift to have Dr Peterson set the bar high for new parents and describe in detail how to be a Mindful Parent.
By Mana
What a gift to have Dr Peterson set the bar high for new parents and describe in detail how to be a Mindful Parent. Think about how helpful it is to know the very best way to accomplish anything in life. This is what motives us to become our highest most engaged self. It is worthy to set a high standard for raising children who are as wise, generous and compassionate as possible. I thank Dr Peterson for clarifying this goal and giving us definitions for the skill sets required to parent a child who becomes an a competent, contented and loving adult.
From wearing and caring for babies to relational parenting details this book provides young parents with guiding wisdom to help reduce confusion and provides how to be a mindful parent. This is not about inducing guilt in new parents, it is about reducing bewilderment and reconnecting to a child maintaining a close mutually-compassionate relationship. Beginning parents can learn to validate feelings in their toddlers and utter sounds of acceptance.
Dr Peterson gives an important nudge toward adequate essential paid parental leave and in home day care.
The interviews with modern parents touch upon the reality of life for these busy parents and the creative ways that they can meet their babies needs. The stories from peaceful cultures are translated into opportunities for our culture to help our children learn to use their better judgment, calm distress and grow in generosity and compassion.
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